Tuesday 10 February 2009

A bad day

Today is really sad one!!! I really feel disappointed at myself. I don't know what's really going on? I got really bad mark and the plan to continuosly study for master nearly finished!
Don't I have ability to follow this course? Even i take another course, do i have confidence to say that i would be good at that? I really lose all of my belief. I'm getting bored of myself. I can't get up early in the morning and i feel tired of studying but don't want to stop to go to work.
I'm now too sad and found no one to encourage me to keep going on. I wanna give up! I really feel to be alone since in front of pp, i always pretend that I have the happy smile, happy face even a bunch of holes exist in my mind and my heart. What could I do from now? I'm making my mom disappointed and make my father lose a lot of money for me.
I'm so useless! I want to put a lot of effort but i don't know how and what should i do? I want to get the second class but this dream seems going too far!
Common, girl! I know i can overcome and get better but i just want to pour all of these things to get the freedom and to become a good person.
I will try a bit more, more than that!! so please pray for me, please save me, please give me a chance.
I'm really sad, really now!!!